Close Encounters of the Homersexual Kind
by juicydickhugger
Summary: homer and ned find common ground. will the ape-like man discover something new with his jesus loving neighboor?
1. Chapter 1

"god damn it bart!"

homer sipspon was mad. homer was naked. bart had just burnt all the towles outside and now homer had nothing to dry himself off with. homer stomped around, his thick yellow penis swinging around as he went downstairs after bart.

"ha ha ha ha ha," bart laughed, leaving the house. homer chased after him, forgetting that he was a naked yellow man instead of being a clothed yellow man. homer was now outside, angry and pissed off. he stormed over to ned flanders's house, where the mustachioed man was trimming his hedges.

"hi diddle doodle, homeroso," ned said. "boy, i can see your dingle dangle dongle."

homer screamed. "what!" homer said, covering himself.

"oh i don't mind," flanfers replied. "in fact, i was wondering if you'd like to come over and have a measuring contest," flanders said.

"what about your stupid kids?" homer asked. "and aren't you christen? won't the god dude be mad?"

"oh, rod and dod are outta town, homo," said flanders. "it'll be you and me, real men, having a real manly time. we can diddly doodly all night long."

"i dunno," homer said. "what if marge find out..."

"oh, this isn't cheati ng," fed said "we're just gonne see our schlongerinos and have a good old fashinoed time!"

"eh, why not," homer accepted. "the boy can wait."


	2. Chapter 2: ned's heads

homer arrived at flanders's house later that night, wearing his normal clothes. the house was lit up and it seemed there wasn't a flanders in sight. homer sawer a sign that said "cum downstairs," and so homer went down and found himself in flanders basemnt. there, he saw not only ned flanders, but his friends carl and lenny. for some reason, krusty the krown and moe sislak were there too. also, apu was there as well.

"carl? leny?" homer aslked. "what are you doing here? and why is krusty here?"

"hey homer, glad you could make it," ned said. "this is just a little club i decided to start. don't tell anyone else, though."

"i thought we were going to look at oujt penises, flanders," homer said.

"well, one thing led to another and now we're here," moe said. "i'm just happy to have some fucking attention for once."

"yeah homer, you're really going to enjoy the d club," carl said.

"oh, there's no way i can out measure carl and lenny," homer said. "you two probably have the biggest ones out of this entire group."

"now homr, it's not about the size of your diddly, but how you doodly," ned replied. "that's what the d club is all about."

"yes, mr. simpson, we are here because we want to feel better about our manhoods," apu said.

"thank you apu," ned pointed down, unzipping his pants, "now how about we get started?"

every man in the room proceeded to get naked. krusty showed off his clown penis, which was painted red at the tip and white on the shaft. moe's was average size as wes apus, while carl and lenny proved homer right. however, homer was in for a real surprise as ned got nude and revealed that he had two penes. homer was shocked as got he naked.

"wow," kruste said, "now i've heard of two heads being better than one, but this is ridickulos!" he then made his famous gay clown laugh.

"well, i consider it a blessig form the lord above," ned said. "now, who wants to touch them?"


	3. Chapter 3: homer farts

homer was balls deep in ned's asshole, while the god loving dude was being serviced by carl and lenny. they sucked on his cocks like chciekens peccking at worms in the ground, only rthese worms were much larger and producing cum that was going to go straight into their mouths. meanwhile apu and krusty were busy getting it on, the indian store clerk jacking off krusty's clown dong while also being stroked off by moe the bratender. it was a big not gay orgy that was experiences by a bunch of sweaty pudgy men and carl.

"oh, you're really hitting my poopily, homor," ned said. the thick yellow squash homer had was punching ned's colin, shooting jizzum into ned's cativty. ned pooped off as well, showering carl and lenny with a cum shower like they were in a sexy rainforresdt. homer was farting all over the place.

"won't someone ust fuck my ass already?" more asked. krusty immediately bent him over and started pounding his tavern. moe cum instantly. krusty cam to and was fucked up the ass by long dong leny who was also fucked by carl's big blak collasal cock.

"hey, let me get a peice of that too," homer said. ned approached homer from behind and penterated him with both cocks. "double anal, flanders? well i never!" homer exclaimed! the fat man was stertched open wide by ned's double dick manifestation, reaming him all over the place. suddenly, the door opened and it was revealed that to be th bartman.

"eye carumbah!" bart said, running out of the room.

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!1111" homer screamed, running after the young yellow troll fucker. ned was deattached from homer's colonoscopy and he soo nwent flaccis.

"well, looks like this is ovar," moe said. he took out a pistol and proceeded to blow his brains out. krusty decided to go nekro and fuck moe's corpse.


	4. Chapter 4: willie's wonka

homer ran after bart into the night. the angry ape could not find his son, but decided to look into the one place he might be: at springfield elementary shcool. homer took a look at the back of the school, and peered even further. he was in groundskeeper willie's territory, and he had to be careful lest he trigger the scotsman outside.

"oy!"

"aw damn it!" homer said.

it was willie, who happened to be naked as well. his fifteen inch haggis hung sdown.

"what d'ya want?" willie said. "i usually do my laps around here."

"have you seen my son?"

"'ave i?" willie asked. "well, i can't say that i have, but if ye want i'd be able to help you out."

"woohoo!"

"but you got te do me a favr first!" willie said.

"d'oh!"

"ye see, i havnt had a good stroke in a while," willie told homer. "since yer already nekkid, ye might as well."

"as long as you help me find bart."

homer proceeded to fluff willie's wiener, admiring the scot's red rocket. as willie got erect, homer engulfed the willie like a shark eating a human. homer was enjoying these news experiences, but he couldn't tell marge. it had to be his own secret because if she found out that he was into homersexual encounters, she would leave him forever!

"ye've got a mouth like a young scottich lassie, homar!" willie exclaimed. he burst as hard as he could evacuating his man gatorade into homer's mouth. homer drank it all up like a human vacuum cleanerf.

"ah, ye did well," willie said.

"okay, willie, let's go find bart," homer said getting up. they got on willie's tractor, with homer mounted behind willie, and rode after to find bart siposnon. they drove around springfield, but couldn't find the yellow fuck nugget. finally, they found a kid, althought he was hhard to see.

"there he his!" homer pointed. "get him!"

"ye got it!" willie said, putting the tractor in full gear. the kid started to run away, but was no match for willie's tractor as he was promptly run over. homer jerked the wheel from willie and stopped the tractor.

"you son of a bitch!" homer said, punching willie in the nuts. he got off the tractor and ran towards the kid. however, it was not bart, but bart's friend, faggot milhouse. his glasses were shattered and his guts were splayed all over the street.

"eh, it's just milhouse," homer said. "let's go, willie."

he turned around and found that willie had already left. "fucking shit!" homer yelled.


	5. Chapter 5: willie dies

homer ran away from the scene of milhouse's dead body, but was caught by cheif wiggum and his cops. now homer was naked and in jail. for some reason, wiggum was also naked.

"well, looks like you've finally snapped, huh simpsond?" wiggum asked, his five inch penis swaying in the wind.

"look i told you," homer said, "it was willie."

"and what were you doing by milhouse's dead body, naked?" wiggum asked. "perhaps i should interrogate you further. open the door, lou."

"uh, you sure, cheif?" lou asked.

"lou, you heard me," wiggum said, "i've got an inch and i need it scrathec, see?"

homer moved closer. "an itch, eh?"

"Yes," clancy said, opening the door. "it's down my back, if now what i mean."

wiggum spread his big, fat, monsterous ass wide, letting homer be able to stick in his yellow banana inside. now, homer's penis was in wiggum's rectum. homer thrusted in to first gear as he fucked the shit of out cheif wiggum while lou watched.

"hey, what about him?" homer asked. "Arrent'y ou afraid he's tell everyone?"

"lou won't tell a soul, right?" wiggum asked.

"nope."

homer continue to fuck wiggum in the sass. he was about to cum when he pulled out. "turn around," homer said. clancy did. homer came all over wiggum's fat face. just then, as wiggum was about to cum, the door opened. it was willie, naked and bloody. he was holding the decaptitatesd head of ralph wiggum.

"ah've found 'im!" willie said. "the wee brat was lurking behind the polise staytion!"

"wille!" homer screamed.

"what the hell?!" wiggum asked. "lou, get him!"

"uh, why?" lou asked.

"oh don't i know?" wiggum asked. "just shoot him you fcuking cuck!"

"fine." lou pulled out his gun and shot willie three times, killing him. then, he shot wiggum in the head, causing his head to exploed! "now you can't boss me around!"

lou ran off, while homer was all covered in blood. "hmm, i should go look for abart agisn," he said. he got up and left the police station, looking for the yellos fuck.


	6. Chapter 6: apu and snek

homer ends up at the qwikie mart because he had a hunch the bart may be there. also, apu was there and mr. nashasapeemapetilon was looking for a quickie as well.

"hello mr. simpsn," apu said, naked. "how are you at three in the morning?"

"did you see my son?" homer asked.

"i did not," apu replied. "but i can help you with other things."

"oh, let me guess, you want a blowe job rtoo, righht?"

"now now," apu said, "before we do that, i must warn you: i a ppassitone lover."

"not so fast!" it was snake the criminal, not the solid one. he had a gun pointed at apu, and for some reason, he was also naked as well.

"god damn it," homer said, "i've already had to deal with one faggot with a gun, why you too, sneka?"

"oh, i'm jusat here because i wanted a piece of apu's ass too," snake replied.

"you did not need to be so forceful, mr. jailbird," apu said, "now let us begin the act of sodomy in my store."

apu inserted his cock into homer's ass while snake fucked apu's ass. the three man fucked and jerked and sucked each other off, drinking the cum from each other's hot dogs. it was better thean normal sex, homer thought. as snake sucked homer off, homer was sucking apu's balls. just as the men were about to nut, nelson appeared by the store on his bike.

"haha!" nelcon said, riding off.

"aw, now i can't cum," snake said. he took out his gun and shot apu, who fell to the floor but seemed to be finer. snake run off. homer got up.

"are you okay?" homer asked.

"please!" apu said, bleeding. "call for help!"

"okay okay, i'll see if the hospital can help," homer said. he ran off in continue for bart simpson,


	7. Chapter 7: skinner sucks

homer farted on the way back to the elementary school. he ran into principle seymoor skinnr, who was naked too. why? because skinner is a cuck.

"what are you doing here?" skinner asked.

"listen have you seen my boy?" homer asked.

"i can't say that i have, mr. simpson," skinner replied. "however, i do have something you can do for me."

"oh, really?" homer asked. "perhaos i can seymour?" (get it?)

"very well," skinner said. "i want to see you fill out my hole."

skinner bent over, exposing his executive rear as homer moved in closer. homer's cock got erect as he stuck it into skinner's poop hole. "ugh, you're bigger than chalmers!" skinner exclaimed.

"let me cum in your ass, seymour," homer said. he went deeper into skinner's booty hole as his ding dong pulverized skinner's bowels. homer cum as he filled skinner up like a car getting filled up with gasoline. hommer pulled out as skinner's bunghole gaped open like a shocked face.

"luckily for you, homer," skinner said, farting, "i use the atm. that means i go ass to mouth."

skinner turned around and sucked homer off, tasting the penis juices on homer's skin flute. seymour was an expert cock sucker, sucking while masturbating himself. but as homer was about to cum, superintended chamlers shown up.

"SKINNER!"

skinner jerks his head. "oh, chalmers!" skinner exclaimed.

"it's time to collapse and prolapse your ass!" chalmers said, getting naked. his monstoursus cock was huge and big. chalmers sodomized skinner. he raped him. goddamn raped him. homer was in a daze, but then he saw bart simpson over at the comic book shiop. homer, in a rush, stood up and ran to the comic shop. bart was screwed this time.,


	8. Chapter 8: homer's cumfart finale

homer entered the comic book shop expecting to find bart, but ran into a big problem: comic book guy's big fat ass. literally, the ass was fat. comic book guy was also naked.

"ugh!" comic book guy said. "worst. fanfic. ever!"

"what are you talking about fatty," gomner aksed. "where the fuck is bart?"

"oh, your son, huh?" cbg asked. "well, he was here, but then he left out the backdoor."

"thanks," homer said, scratching his penis. "wy are you naked?"

"why are you naked?"

"it's a long story that involves a lot of homersexual activity," homer replied. homer ran through the backdoor, which turned out to be a portal to professor frink's lab. homer fell ontop of the skinny jew professor man, crushing him to death. frink was brokend beyond belief as homer got up. what homer saw next shocked him as sidshow bob confronted bart simpson

"now it is tim to complete my mission," bob said with his gay red mop flowing in the wind. he took out a rocket launched and pointed it at bart. what was hommer to do? he looked around and saw a cloning machine. homer ran headfirst into it, cloning himself multiple times until he had twenty clones of himself.

"lets do it!" homer said. however, his clones had another idea as they started to have sex with one another. "d'oh!"

all the homer clones ganged banged one another as side show bub took off his clothers. "well, looks like i get to kill twenty birds with one stoen," he said. he pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. "what the hell?! you're supposed to blow to smithereens!"

he took a look at the barrel of the rocket launcer and that was when the gun fired, the rocket exploding and blowing bob's head clean off. bart laughed. "cool!" bart said. suddenly one of the walls broken down as flanders drove his car through the ewall of frink's lab. smithers was riding in the passenges seet.

"come on homer!" flanders said. "we ghotto go!"

"what now?" homer asked, getting into the car with bart. "why are here, smithers?"

"i heard you wre having a measuring contest without me," smithers reipled. "but enough about that! the mob is after us!"

"the mob?!" homer screamed. "oh no, they found out."

"homer, what's going on?" bart asked.

"listen, boy, you gotta run," homer told brat. "fat tony knows everything. why every man has become homersexual in springfeild, why flander has two penises, and why professor frunk has a clonning machine. and i'm the only one who can stop it."

"woah, you mean that you have the answer?" bart asked.

"Yes, boy," Homer answered. "That is why you must run. If I die, thewn you'll be the man of the house. Take care of everyone else."

"No, dad," Bart said. I want to find out. Let's go Flanders!"

"Oakily Doakilly!" Flanders said, stepping on the gas. They bursted through the other wall and out onto the streets of Springfield. Suddenly, thet were being followed by the mafia who were shotting at them!

"We're not going to make it!" Smithers said. "They don't seem to be running out of bulletgs!"

"Smitherino, you gotta help me otu," Flanders said. "I need you to give me head right now!"

"But you're driving, Mr. Flanders!"

"Ever hear of road head?"

Smithers lowered his head and started to suck Flander's off while strokng his other cock. As Ned was about to climax, a bullet shot through and hit him in head, killing him. Smithers felt the nut in his mouth as the car strated to drive off course.

"Do something!" Bart said.

SMithers wiped his mouth. "Sorry Flanders," he said, opening the door. He pushed Flanders out of the car and took over the steering wheel. The three drove their way over to the Springfield Gorge, cornered by the mob. What was there to do now?

"Homer, we're trapped," Bart said. "What do we do?"

"Boy, we've byut one choise," Homer replied. "Step on the gas, Mr. Smithers!"

"But nobody can make this jump!" Smithers exclaimed.

"Yeah dad, you couldn't even make it, remeber?"

"Quiet boy..." Homer said. "Do it already!"

Smithers gulped. "Okay, Wayln," he said. He drove the casr off of the cliff in order to escape the mob, and it looked as if they were going to make it.

"We're going to make it!" Homer said!

"Dad, look!" Bart said.

The mob decided to follow after them, driving off the cliff as well. However, they didn';t have enough drove and soon fell to their doom. It looked like Homer, Bart and Smithers were going to make it. But as they reache dthe other side, the car start to fall.

"Oh no!" Smithers said. "I knew we wouldn't make it!"

Smithers decidde to leap out of the dirvers seat and fell to his death. Homer and Bart screamed , holding each other as their emminent doom approached.


	9. Chapter 9

homer awoek from his dream and lived his normal life as well as he could.


End file.
